Friendship. Even After You Become a Mom

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I’m aging.  It’s a little weird to think about that, but it’s true.  I no longer have patience for certain things and my priorities in life are changing.  Along with that, I’m realizing that good friendships really are hard to find and it is important to grow the good ones and leave the unhealthy ones as fast as possible.

 

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We just had our anniversary!  11 Years of friendship.  To some it may not seem like much, but to me it is a LOT.  I met Adrienne when I started working at the National Ballet of Canada.  One day, when there was a massive North American power outage,   everyone in the office walked home, including us….together.

 

When I moved to Italy, she printed me every single email exchange we had ever had over the course of our friendship, in a book format. It remains one of the best gifts I have ever received.  She’s an archivist, a virgo and a new mom with a panache for jewelry and home decor (her Pinterest is AMAZING btw)!

 

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Changes

When I got pregnant with Zeno I definitely  noticed a huge change in a few of my friendships.  Women I thought were close to me disappeared, but not all of them…..

 

Gillian (you’ve met her, she’s Canadian and lives in Rome!), and Adrienne have remained.  Through the mommy-friends “dating” process I’ve also met some incredible ladies who are now some of my closest friends, even if I can NEVER finish a conversation with them.

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Friendship interrupted.

 

I’ve gone ahead and filed this post under Chiacchiere, which means Chit Chat in Italian.  Fare due chiacchiere, is what one friend would say to another when they want to chat with you to see how your life is going.  Now that Adrienne and Gillian are both moms we usually chat when our kids nap, because when they are awake conversations go like this:

 

“So how are you d…….. don’t touch that.  Please don’t put that in your mouth.  I would like YOU to NOT put that in your mouth, PLEASE.  Did you hear what I said?  This behaviour is unacceptable……

 

What was I saying? Oh wait, were you saying something?”

 

wash. rinse. repeat.

 

The Friendcation

 

There’s no better way to stay connected with friends than to go on vacation together.  Provided everyone has their own place to sleep (if you are going away for more than 3-4 days!) and freedom to follow their own schedule!

 

Adrienne, Paul and their new baby Polly met up with Marco, Zeno and I in Copenhagen for a family friendly vacation.  In two weeks of physically being in the same city, with our husbands to help with the kids, we were able to chat (if only briefly,but often) and its made me realize that vacations are the perfect time to reconnect with friends.

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The Reason We Dressed

 

We managed to find a lot of moments to be together in Copenhagen even though we were both also doing our own things.  We managed to fit in walks,coffee breaks, museum going, lunches, dinner’s in, dinner’s out and even  a road trip to see some Vikings.

 

This afternoon was passed in Copenhagen’s Kastellat, a fortress that once protected the city and is now frequented by tourists because it houses the famous statue of The Little Mermaid.

 

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What We Wore

 

The first time I ever stepped into PreLoved was with Adrienne in Toronto’s Queen West district. Adrienne is wearing a Pre Loved sweater, and for those of you who have never heard of the brand, they salvage used clothes, take them apart and then sew them back together in new designs.

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I have a few Pre Loved items from “before they were  big”, now they are making international waves and are loved by celebrities and fashionistas alike.

 

The brand is NOT CHEAP, with a reworked sweatshirt costing around $120! But their efforts to reduce clothing waste make for very imaginative designs and you can often find them on sale to!

 

Their physical location in Toronto is GONE, which makes me kind of sad, since one of my favorite memories was going in and trying on clothes with Adrienne, then deciding not to buy anything since it was too expensive!  We did, however, go shopping in Copenhagen!

 

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Have you ever gone on vacation with a good friend and their kids/family?  
Have you noticed that your friendships have changed since becoming a mom? 

 

Blogging Questions!!

 

I’m happy to announce that I have readers and they ask questions!! I usually get a few emails a week, but this week I’ve received a ton of emails from readers including people who are coming to Bologna and Modena, people who read my review of the Francescana and want to know more about the food scene in Modena AND a friend and reader wrote to me about her recent dilemma with her wardrobe.

 

I LOVE getting emails, and will work on posts to provide answers to the best of my ability, or put together a list of resources of other bloggers who can help!

 

I usually only work on the blog from about 5 am to 8:30 or from 1 am to 3, so even though it may take me some time to put together a response …..it is coming!  Thank you for your continued support, I’m so happy I started Reasons to Dress and that someone out there is enjoying it!

 
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I’ve linked this post up with Zaz for #AllAboutYou !

 

 

 

  • It’s awesome when you have friends close enough to take a little vacation with them! These look like some cool adventures…I wouldn’t mind seeing the mermaid statue myself!

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    • The mermaid statue was nice, it was the setting more than the statue that was quite beautiful. And don’t worry I’m sure you will have your fair share of beautiful things to see in China!

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  • What a great trip to take with close friends! Friendships for me have changed a lot since moving abroad and as I continue to get older. I hope I will get to take a trip with those friends that are still dear to me, would be a blast!

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    • I couldn’t agree more, once you move abroad you really do notice a change. There are friendships that are convenient because you are physically close, and then there are friendships that happen because you wish you could be closer.

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  • I totally agree that taking trips with friends (when you have kids) is a great time to catch up. It’s even better if you can go without the kids. I’ve been trying to set up a trip to Las Vegas with my work best friend forever. I think it may actually happen this winter. Yay!

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    • Reasons to Dress

      I REALLY hope that comes through for you this year and that you manage to go with your friends. Honestly, sometimes you just need a few days together to have a decent conversation (and some fun!)

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  • I love all your cozy layers! Not ready for that yet here – 32 degrees in the GTA today and around 40 with humidity. Looks like you had a fun (if somewhat chilly) time!

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    • It was totally chilly! Actually my friend is also in your neck of the world and she also mentioned that she came home to some tropical weather. Modena has been raining a lot but that’s ok I’m stuck indoors potty training #helpme

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  • I always tell my bff the reason we remain bff’s is because we are totally cool going weeks if not months without actually talking! It’s so hard to have friends when you are trying to grow kids and a marriage! I do hotter know some couples that have divorced because one or the other had to many friends (the woman I’m thinking about it was like why did she need a husband when she had a trillion gf’s!!!)

    Btw it’s still freaks me or the it’s that cold in Copenhagen!

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    • Reasons to Dress

      THAT is the reason I also have my friends. Because we can literally go for weeks without speaking to eachother. You get busy! And only the people who are as busy as you can understand. And I agree too many friends doesn’t makes sense either. You don’t need EVERYONE you just need someone.

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  • Friendships change when kids come along, they open up new relationships but sadly many are lost too, I really think kids hone you into who really matters though as time is short. Lovely post #allaboutyou

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  • You are lucky to have such great friends!! That is such a blessing, it’s been hard to maintain my friendships as we all have little ones right now and there never seems to be ‘time’. It takes effort to continue to make them grow when you are so consumed with parenting, work and everything else. Enjoyed reading this post & all the great pictures.
    Marta
    http://www.sweatersstripesandsweets.com

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    • Reasons to Dress

      I think the real friendships are maintained naturally. You shouldn’t need to force a phone call or apologize for the few weeks that have passed since the last one. high maintenance friendships make everyone uncomfortable. If you care about someone you let them know it, and if they care about you they don’t need to hear from you daily!

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  • I am totally with you, friendships change and motherhood made me realise how important it was not to cling on to friendships that weren’t right and that were just hard work. Friendships that really last are amazing though and definitely worth appreciating! I love the sound of a friendcation!! Your description of a mummy conversation is so accurate, I can spend a few hours with my good friends but with the kids around we barely manage a few minutes of actual conversation!! Xx #allaboutyou

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    • Reasons to Dress

      Ugh. Yesterday on the phone with a friend I think we managed to finish ONE story! Oh well, in a few years we’ll all have more time on our hands to chat, for now we are raising people!

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  • Morgan Prince

    Yes friends are very important. I don’t have many of them but the ones I have are also parents and appreciate the differences between having children and not. What a great idea – a vacation with friends. Looks like you had a fabulous time.

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  • Hannah Parker

    Awww, you’ve made me pine for my best pal, Angie! Such a lovely post. I love all the wonderful shots of you and Adrienne, and your beautiful family. Thanks for sharing 🙂 hxxx

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  • Zaz

    I think that major life changes – like marriage, children, do inevitably alter friendships and reveal their strengths and weaknesses. With precious little time left you’re right, we need to focus and nurture the really good ones. My circle has diminished substantially since I was a social butterfly in my 20s, but those I have are precious and real. Thanks for linking this lovely friendship post up to #AllAboutYou sweetie (and I cannot believe the blog hours you keep you crazy woman!!)

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