Strength. Even when things aren’t perfect

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I’ll be honest and say that my husband Marco is not one of the easiest of people to get along with. I’ll be even more honest and say, maybe I’m not the easiest either.

 

If it were up to our horoscopes we would not be an ideal couple, and indeed we’ve had our fair share of intense moments. Somehow after 7 years together including; a long distance relationship, language barriers, communication differences, an unexpected pregnancy, a few earthquakes and many a heated discussion about EVERYTHING imaginable, we are still together.

 

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I would never describe him as my “best friend”, indeed he reminds me often that we are not just “friends” we are lovers and spouses. We are much more than friends.

 

Marco has never been a “yes man”, actually he says No to almost every suggestion I make. He forces me to fight for the things that I want, pull myself together even when I don’t want to and ask for forgiveness when I’ve been wrong. As difficult as he is, I think being with him makes me a better person. No, I KNOW being with him makes me a better person.

 

Our relationship isn’t one that comes easy to us. I think any normal couple would have thrown in the towel a long time ago and yet day after day, and year after year we’re still together, creating our little life and finding compromises all the time.

 

Exactly 3 years Ago

 

I was 5 months pregnant and not yet on 100% bed rest. We were enjoying ourselves out with friends at an aperitivo and chatting about the laws in Italy when it comes to marriage. In Canada there exists “Common Law” relationships, where if you live together as a couple for a year you are considered “married” to some degree by the government and you have all of the legal rights as a married couple.

 

That does not exist in Italy. Here, unless you are actually, legally married you only have a certain amount of rights as a couple. Being a very practical (and not a very romantic) man he asked me to marry him while we were having an aperitivo. His exact words “Ah è vero, forse anche noi dobbiamo sposarci”, translation “Ah it’s true (talking about legal rights) maybe you and I should get married too”.

 

That was enough for me. Proposal accepted. I said “I’m considering that a proposal, let’s do it. Don’t forget it was your idea!”. He HATES weddings, hates being the centre of attention, hates formal situations and HATES getting in contact with people or even hanging out in big groups!!! FUN FUN FUN!

 

The only rules to our wedding were that I would have to do it myself and he didn’t want to hear about the planning, budgeting, decorations, or anything that had to do with the wedding in general. Actually, he even had the nerve to want to do a wedding in January (I would have been 7 months pregnant), in city hall and not invite anyone.

 

Ummmm. No.

 

I could just hear my entire family reaming me out for not giving them notice or the chance to plan to come over for our wedding. We were having none of that.

 

Budgets

 

Marco insisted that  we not ask for help from anyone. He didn’t want to put his parents in a tight financial situation and he didn’t want to do anything that we couldn’t afford paying for it ourselves.

 

So I started to save. BIG TIME. A difficult task when you are also expecting a baby and have no friends with kids or relatives around to pass you hand me downs. We bought almost everything for our son and paid for our wedding alone.

 

To this day, our wedding remains one of the most incredibly beautiful experiences of my life. We were married August 30, 2012, exactly 5 months after our baby Zeno was born.

 

Giving Thanks

 

Marco said that we were not allowed to do any long winded thank you speeches at our wedding! He said that he thought they made people uncomfortable and that everyone hated listening to them anyway.

 

Now that I think about it, I don’t think I really can thank enough all of the friends that came to be with us on that day enough. My parents, sister Chrissy (who was also my Maid of Honor!), sister Suzie along with her family and my brother Fonzie along with my niece all came from Canada!

 

My dear friend Adrienne and her man Paul (you’ve seen her here) also came all the way from Canada to be with us. And my other dear friend Gillian (you’ve seen her here) came from Rome with her husband Nicola, while she was pregnant!

I went to the Albinelli Market in Modena’s centre a few months before the wedding and ordered fresh tiger lilies, broad leaves and mini hot peppers. The day before the wedding I was sure that I would be alone making centerpieces with the discounted glass vases I found at IKEA, but instead the doorbell kept ringing.

 

EVERYONE CAME TO HELP. Nicola, Gillian’s husband was on the balcony spraying shine stuff on the leaves (he also cleaned our bikes for us in his good wedding attire), my sister made my bouquet, my mom helped with the corsages….everyone helped me.

They didn’t just come to our wedding, they helped us create it.

 

 

The Day

 

When I originally wrote this, I describd the day in detail. But I don’t think it needs a description. Imagine an Italian folk song playing in the background while you look at these pictures with a lot of laughing and some very surreal moments thrown in.

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As difficult as it can be to live with a perfectionist Virgo who never lets me do what I want, I am so grateful and happy to celebrate 2 years of marriage and 7 years together. Being with Marco has taught me that true romance is really finding the strength to go on even when things aren’t perfect.

 

 

  • Such a beautiful wedding and I absolutely love your dress! Thank you for sharing 🙂

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    • Thank you Elizabeth, that dress has a story! Let’s just say you’d never believe what I paid for it!! It looks as though we are both summer brides 🙂

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  • So good! It’s so true. I honestly don’t think there is such a thing as the “perfect match”. Some people are maybe more “compatible” than others on some levels, but at some point the rubber hits the road and you have to *choose* whether to keep loving that other person even when you don’t feel like it. Congrats on 3 years – we just celebrated 3 this summer as well 🙂

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    • Congratulations to you guys as well. Sometimes I think about what my life would be life if I had a man who said yes to everything. I’m sure I’d be bored! At least he keeps me on my toes!

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  • I just love your blog! I have been following you for almost a year and truly appreciate and love reading all of your posts. I don’t think I’ve ever commented before, but your life and posts are so interesting!

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    • Ummm, I am so flattered by your comment, I’m not sure what to say aside from Thank You that means so much to me and thank you for commenting. Once I went into the office of a woman I thought was totally boring, she never brought up anything interesting in our conversations and then I noticed a photograph sitting on her desk. It was of her and her children Rock Climbing in some exotic country while on a super adventurous vacation. Apparently they did all kinds of extreme things as a family and from then on i realized everyone’s life is interesting the moment they decide to share something about themselves.

      Thank you again for reading for your encouraging words.

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  • Wow! SO BEAUTIFUL!

    I love love seeing all of your pictures together – and your wedding looks so intimate. That’s PRECISELY what I want when I get “married” in Italy (we’re already legally married after our own little surprise bundle but until it’s in the church my in-laws just see it as a nice sentiment).

    I think your Italian and mine would totally get along. Honestly, I think bull headedness comes package and parcel when being with Italian men. It gives me (some) comfort that even Italian women can’t always handle them!

    2 years of marriage is something to REALLY celebrate. Having not been married quite two myself I can say that I have woken up occasionally and thought is this really going to work? But I think that’s part of the comfort in marriage for me – knowing both of us, no matter how different are going to fight for it. Or at least fight with each other ;).

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    • Oh please explain that to me. Can you get married in a church if you are already legally married? And I totally agree that in general Italian men are more bull headed. My husband loves asking me what “Canadian Men” are like. He has this impression based on everyone he’s met in Canada that they are really nice and docile.

      He’s probably right.

      And congrats to the both of you as well!

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  • Congratulations! You have awesome dress. Absolute dream!:)

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  • Loved reading this post and seeing your gorgeous wedding photos! Happy Anniversary!

    Jill
    dousedinpink.blogspot.com

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    • Thank you Jill! We splurged on the photographer, he was a real one that came all the way from Milan to take our pictures. As with any wedding I have thousands more and would LOVE to over share them, but I’ll save those for next year so I don’t scare anyone away!

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  • Ah Angie, these pictures are absolutely beautiful – you looked utterly amazing, and I am in love with your dress! You also write with such love and fierce passion about your relationship – as you do with everything you are into. I wish you so much happiness, and a very happy anniversary (mine in one week, I’ll be walking down memory lane looking at pictures too!)

    (do hope you’re linking this gorgeous post up to All About You!)
    x

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  • Beautiful post about what was clearly a beautiful day! You obviously have a wonderful and unique relationship and you sound so happy! Happy Anniversary! Xx

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  • What beautiful photographs! It really looks like you all had a fabulous time. All relationships take work at some point, congratulations. xx #AllAboutYou

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  • What a wonderful post, your love and passion shine through and your photos are stunning. What an incredible wedding. Happy Anniversary x #AllAboutYou

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  • Love the honesty and the beauty of this post, your wedding looks divine! Thanks for sharing #allaboutyou

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  • Such a lovely wedding! These pictures were so fun. I am glad Brian pushes me to grow as well, as I do him.

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